argh. it's almost there....new....for some reason i had some inspiration to make changes today. needless to say, i didn't get as much work (that is, real work. no, this doesn't count as real work. though i'd be nice to get paid to blog...) done as i had planned. 95% there. i just need to make the table with the blogger code narrower, and for some reason it isn't cooperating. must be in a bad mood. the table, that is. the dogs are patiently (hovering on impatiently) waiting to go outside. i am HUNGRY! need. food. soon. amy's pizzas were on sale at the co-op. i bought 6 of them. woo. pizza heaven. hope you enjoy. no comments yet. i'll figure out something there soon. if you feel some inner burning desire to say something, you can always email me. hell, if you feel your comment is special (well, all comments are special. extra special) i could even post it for you. happy saturday. we need more saturdays in this world. could someone looking to seeing having that changed for me? thanks.

whenever i recline my seat in the car on a long road trip, i have a sort of paranoia about that being dangerous in a car crash. now my fear is confirmed. are they now going to stop making reclining car seats? that would not be good...what about when you find yourself needing to sleep in your car? yes, i know that's what beds are for. but sometimes the carbed is a neccessity. nevermind when you and your sweetie are at a drive in movie... (yes! we still have a drive in movie theater here in sac. :) )

continuing on the fast food rants...i got my paperback copy of fast food nation from amazon last week. if i wasn't already in the middle of two other books, i'd be done by now, but i am only a couple chapters in. fascinating. i *know* we are manipulated by advertising, but i guess i never realized just how serious it was. the chapter i am reading now concerns the marketing deals that schools have started making with soft drink and fast food companies. remember when the closest thing to 'fun' food you got with your school lunch was on pizza fridays? when you were jealous of the one kid with the coke can in his metal he-man lunchbox? now kids can purchase fast food at their schools. i thought that was a right of passage for high schoolers - as soon as you get to go off campus for lunch, you can start eating taco bell for lunch. corporate sponserships are now a significant part of many school budgets. "in kansas city they were getting 67¢ a kid, now it's $27," said one marketer. why do we need these corporate sponserships to fund schools? why can't the government provide sufficient funds to operate the public edcuation system? it's a terrible cycle, but all the corporations are happy, as kids are ideal customers - an eight year old has about 65 years of purchasing in front of them.

at our local mcdonalds, which is a block from a high school and two blocks from the city college, there is a sign for a 'student special' - an egg mcmuffin and a soda for 99 ¢. between the hours of 7am and 9am. a soda? with an egg mcmuffin? that early in the morning? americans drink soda at a rate of approximately 600 12-ounce cans per year. liquid candy, with about 10 teaspoons of sugar per can. yup. soda and an egg mcmuffin. such a healthy wholesome way to start your day.

i guess i am somewhat of an oddity - i rarely drink soda. mind you, in college i sucked down a two liter bottle of diet dr pepper every other day. the heat of sacramento summers stopped that. in 105 degree weather, soda does not sound thirst quenching. just stopped drinking it one day. and now only drink it every so often. nothing wrong with drinking some soda, but it certainly shouldn't be the primary beverage for kids...at least, in my opinion.

now blogback is down, too...argh. i really need to get this thing on my own server. grr.

i sit here writing, not daring to stop,
for fear of seeing what's outside my head. -a. robert lee

when i visit the library, i always check out the 'central express' area, where they put newly released books. i like looking there because i often stumble upon books on subjects that i would not have normally looked for. maybe it's as if these books are finding me. it's a curious thing, which books i decide to remove from the shelves and examine further. the area isn't that large, about ten 10 foot-long shelves. an interesting title, a unique spine - maybe with bright colors, maybe in stark black and white, or maybe just where my hand happens to fall on the shelf at that moment. i have gathered books about psychology, relationships, fiction by new and exciting authors, travel guides to places i dream about visiting.

on my last visit, a thick, bright orange spine caught my eye. and a word in a different font - blocky, heavy in all capital letters - BEAT. pulling it off the shelf, i read the full title 'beat down your soul - what was the beat generation? poems, essays, memoirs, notes, protests, attacks and apologies-from the beat explosion that rocked the world' by ann charters. i have touched on learning about the beat generation, and my english prof reading ginsberg's 'howl' still has an echo in my head. i checked out the book, and found it a delicious exploration of a 'lost' generation. kerouac had described them as a group of men 'intent on joy' and possessing 'wild selfbelieving individuality'. what follows are pieces of poems and passages i enjoyed...

i am calm at last.

multitudes of natural life
busy all around me
assure me like a good memory
of time's benevolence
- john clellon holmes

afoot and light-hearted i take to the open road
healthy, free, the world before me,
the long brown path before me leading wherever i choose.
-walt whitman

and it's been too long to make it all right again
i can't defend them anymore
or, more painful, fan not disengage from this time or place or have no
desire
for any other time or place but my own
a stubborn determination born somewhere in the struggle
-joanna mcclure

what was the international significance of all this? the beat generation cam be seen as an aspect of the worldwide trend for intellectuals to reconsider the nature of the human individual, existence, personal wisdom, the qualities of love and hatred, and the means of achieving wisdom.....is not an intellectual movement, but a creative one: people who have cut their ties with respectable society in order to live in an independent way if life writing poems and painting pictures, making mistakes and taking chances-but finding no reason for apathy or discouragement. they are going somewhere. -gary snyder

where the hell is our generation going? do we even care?

hmm. artisan single serve desserts are great for dessert. wherever did they get that crazy idea? pretty soon they are going to be telling us birthday cakes are great for birthdays and lunchables are great for lunch. glad we have advertising to assure we know exactly what the artisan dessert cakes are for. guess this means they're not great for an art project.

damn. we don't need osama bin laden and the taliban. we have enought problems with our own. even in 'perfect' orange county...

Former Nuclear Plant Worker Arrested for Threats

last night for dinner i made a soup from thai kitchen, the roasted garlic noodle bowl. it came packaged in a plastic bowl. wrapped in plastic wrap. with a cardboard band around it. the whole thing was wrapped in plastic again. i peeled off these layers and opened the lid for the soup. inside there were three different spice and seasoning packets. one of them (the sesame oil) was packaged in two layers of plastic. then those three bags were pakaged in another layer of plastic. you were to empty the packets into the bowl and pour boiling water 'to the lowest ridge on the plastic bowl provided' , put the cover back and let it sit for three minutes. voila! soup.

i can't seem to figure out why this soup needed so many layers of packaging? the spices could've been in one bag. shit, they could've just been in the bowl with the noodles. the bowl had a LID that was SEALED. why did it need to be shrink wrapped? why not put the label on a stikcer? you could cut what is now 9 pieces of packaging to 2!

no wonder we have full landfills. i usually pay attention to that kind of thing - the amount of packaging - but i didn't realize it until i got home. the soup was good, yes. but companies need to pay more attention to that. consumers have to be aware of the benefits of less packaging. hey, you can tell people who bitch that at least they won't have to take the trash out as often. it's a little thing, really, but added up even in just one household over a year it would be significant. i wish we paid a 'real cost' for our trash collection, the more you consume, the more you throw away, the more you pay. here in sacto, you can get a smaller can. but you only pay $3 less a month. for a tiny can compared to the mammoth 'regular' ones....from the soapbox, that was alissa.

oops. sorry. i realized that the video wasn't working and deleted the post. but forgot to republish the page. d'oh.

the are re-releasing ET. remember? the movie with the long necked alien thing with a glowing finger and drew barrymore and resee's pieces? march 20. it's the 20th anniversary. 20 years...that makes me feel old. i wish i could've made my bike fly. spent days at a friend's house trying to finish the ET atari 2600 game. ET phone home...

so long as space remains
so long as sentinent beings remain
i will remain
in order to help
in order to serve
in order to make my contribution - buddhist prayer

it has been raining here in sacramento 25 out of the past 44 days. more than half. those days where it wasn't raining? it was foggy. or cloudy. or there was something blocking the sun. today it wasn't really light out until 7:30am. it's depressing. and grey. did i say it was depressing?

i love portland. a city i always wanted to move to. everytime i visit, it is sunny. i know, they get tons of rain. just never when i visit. i heard yesterday that they had 38 days straight of rain. 38 days. 2 more and noah is going to show up with a bunch of animals and some wood. after these days of gloomy skies, i worry that i would be seriously depressed if i lived there. or, at least seriously unproductive.

sacramento's three day forecast: Sun Jan 6 Rain 56°F 46°F ---- Mon Jan 7 Showers 58°F 49°F ---- Tue Jan 8 Rain 57°F 42°F. no real sun for a long time...ten day forecast. damn. see how exciting my life is? i am talking about the weather. the weather! sad. but, it is making me sad. SUN! SUN! someone do a sundance for me, ok? no, i don't know how to do one. make something up. just have the gods send some sunshine. thanks.