i'm taking off tonight. whoo damn hoo. there were only two seats left on the oakland->jfk route (my original flight) and i got one of them. the woman on the phone for jet blue apologized for the fact i waited 20 minutes on hold. 'no problem,' i said, 'i completely understand.'

she commented that everyone calling to change/cancel/rearrarange flights was so friendly, patient, calm. what a change for her! and a positive thing to hear. in this time of fear and frustration, people are realizing (i hope) that their personal lives don't always come first, and that this is the way it will now be.

changed my rental car AGAIN, but this time i got a ford ranger pickup. it was $50 cheaper than the economy car! looks like ford is trying to sell this truck. i will be stylin'. but women driving pickup trucks are often, well, women who drive pickup trucks. no, i am not like that. :P but it should be fun. i will be in manhatan with karin tomorrow. i haven't seen her for about a year. i am so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. :)

now i am really leaving on a jet plane, gonna fly. be back the 25th. i hope y'all have a pleasant week +. should have some fun/funny/amusing stories when i return. gotta go finish packing.....

debate with myself. my flight tonight? the one i was originally scheduled for tonight? yeah. that one. before i had to change my plans to accomodate dan's schedule. it's going out tonight to jfk. i am now on the same flight, but on tuesday. i am worried that something will change between now ans tuesday to cause airpost changes again.

i can switch my flights again (at no cost) and fly tonight, at 11:35 PST. and have my normal vacation schedule back. the one that didn't require me to drive from rochester to saratoga to allentown. or, i can just wait. while i (being worried. silly, i know. because, yes, i want it to be safe) stress about tuesday. opinions, anyone?

and, i found out last night from some friends at dinner...even if you have an e ticket (my airline doesn't even offer the option of paper tickets), you must wait in that long ass line (that i always avoid) to have a paper ticket issued. they have a guard that will only let ticketed - that's those paper thingys :) - passengers through to the gates. and, only one carry on bag. grr. i had oh so carefully packed so that my 10 days worth of stuff (wes! ten days-1bag. could you do it? :P ) fit in my huge messenger bag. that was just small enough to be a carry on. i hate checking baggage. you have to wait in that line, and you never know if it will make the trip with you. your bag MAY just end up in hawaii, where it can lounge on the beach with a pina colada. guess i am waiting in the line, anyways. i had airport travel down...e ticket (not now), dropped off in front of the airport (can't do that anymore), all carry-on baggage (no again). i know, it's safety. just stick an armed marshall on every plane....

library goodies. i am so excited. libraries are wonderful places. 1 novel, 1 travel ny, 1 outdoor careers, 2 non fiction outdoorsy books (krakouer and bryson), 1 trivia, 1 book of lists, 1 relationship, 2 magazines. considering that now i will be spending many many more hours in airports and planes. 3 hours ahead of flight. 5+ hour flight. 45 minute subway ride....i don't know what i do in this situation without them. well, no, those of you who know know me (met me in person-in the flesh!) know that i would talk to whatever interesting people i was sitting near. depends on my mood. haven't been too gregarious lately.

one day, for no apparent reason, you simply know you cannot continue to play by the rules you have accepted for many years. - mary oliver

i am having a hard time with my old rules. know i am playing chutes and ladders, but using candyland play pieces. just reluctant and scared too see that it really is easier to play with the chutes and ladders pieces.

saturday night. wasting time because the boys are watching the news again. i am on overload. sushi tonight though. tuna sashimi. my favorite. but we are home now. i hope y'all are having a pleasant evening.

leavin' on a jet plane...don't know when i'll be back again...

people in northern california do not know how to drive. when there is traffic, and you leave 3 carlengths between you and the person in front of you-people see that as a place to cut in. please don't leave so much room. in LA if you leave 2 feet there, someone will cut in. you don't have to be THAT close, but c'mon. and these are also the people that drive 55 in the fast lane. i learned to drive on southern california freeways. you need to be a little agressive in your driving. not rude, just decisive. (i had a doctors appt. this morning. had to drive in rush hour traffic=why i work from home and do not live in so cal anymore. ick)

though, YOU, the one going 60 mph with your breaklights on in your new oldsmobile? yes, you. with the baby sun shade? you made me laugh. how do you drive 60 with the breaklights on? invest in a break shoe company. you'll be buying a lot of them....

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

read this (it's not there anymore, though) when i was strolling past chad's place. made me think of my mother, who passed away almost two years ago on september 27. a tuesday. i recieved a phone call from my father just after 4am that morning. my mother had stopped breathing and the paramedics were at my house trying to revive her. 'i think they are getting pulse,' my dad said. 'i will call you back when there is more news.

the agony of waiting, praying, remembering my mother. telling dan all the wonderful times i had. how perfect she was. my hero. my role model. i was very lucky to have such a great mother. it was an hour and a half til he called with the news. she didn't make it. though i miss her terribly, she lived a wonderful life, embracing each moment. and i was fortunate to have 24 years with her. many do not have this relationship ever with their moms, even if she lives to 100.

her heart stopped beating. it was her time, somehow. but to lose someone in the way that so many were lost tuesday? i cannot imagine the pain, suffering. the agony these people must have at this time, waiting, searching, hoping. for days. as they continue to find survivors, their hope grows. but how long until they know? my heart goes out to these people. i hope they are able to find peace. and blindsided is exactly how i feel. life, life, life, changing and shifting...but usually slowly, gradually. but, suddenly it is different. i vowed to be more positive here. and look at this. more rambles. i'm trying...thanks for being patient. i promise fun stuff soon.

the speed limit on our downtown traffic circles? (used for traffic calming. we got some uptight traffic around here) 17 mph. 17? why? and how do you drive 17? that is almost impossibly slow, like when you see signs for 5 mph. and the graphic on the traffic circles signs is entertaining. (i will look for a pic tomorrow.)

there were security guards everywhere at the library today. searched my bag when i went in. at least 2 guards on every floor. i have never felt so watched before. but i think this is just a sign of things to come.

those first few moments of a morning...when you have first woken up, eyes half open, when your mind is slowly beginning to turn on, and you are thinking about the day to come. those moments are sacred to me now. because in those few precious moments my mind is back in that old comfortable place. the time before. a time that will never exist again....and then reality hits.

one more thing. that flight i was supposed to take on saturday night to jfk? it's still scheduled. the airport is supposed to reopen this afternoon (i believe). but i am now flying tuesday.

outta the house. gotta get outta the house. had a sack full of old clothes. went to buffalo exchange . they bought $110 worth (!) which meant i got 50% as a trade value (money to use in the store), or 35% cash. $55 to spend? sure. found this sweet ringer t with a scooby doo mystery machine graphic. unfortunately, too small. but got a baseball tee, with the number 13 on it, and a checkerd shirt. and a sparkly toe ring. and some cash, too. good deal. though i look at people thinking 'do you feel as zombiefied as i do?'

refanageled all my travel plans. in order for dan to go to vegas (bachelor party) & a business trip and jonathon on a vaction. was supposed to fly into jfk saturday night, now it is teusday night. (i always give in to help. why, alissa, why?) probably a smart choice, though, given the new FAA regulations. due to the halt in air travel, jetblue is not charging at all for all ticket changes through october 1st. nice. tweaked all my plans and will end up driving from rochester to saratoga to allentown, pennsylvania. thank you, unlimited rental car miles. just hopin' i get a cd player.

did you know if you chew on a saltine 100 times or so it tastes sweet? from the sunday comics, jax & beakman. i read all the comics except mary worth. and i go thru reading spiderman phases. [an aside: spiderman is not in the ms word spellcheck. he hasn't made it big yet, i guess] continuing on...maybe it will be the new oprah diet for hormonal women craving sweets. don't houswives watch oprah while eating bon bons? just buy a box of saltines, and when you crave that ben and jerry's cherry garcia in the freezer, just chew a saltine 100 times, your craving will be gone! ha ha. we laugh, but with oprah's marketing pull on women (look at what happened with that book club!) it may just take off. oprah, you can send my royalty checks to....

i wish i were an oscar myer wiener....why the fuck is that in my head?

want to help? here is one way.

everytime i try to do anything, my mind resonates with thoughts of the tradgedy, lives lost, people grieving. i feel guilty doing anything. i have run out of words to say, i have a feeling many of you are having similar feelings about this. what do we do now? is it ok to just go on with our lives? in my mind, perhaps niiave, things like this were unimaginable. but now they are real. very real. if someone told you four commercial planes would be highjacked and crashed into prominant public areas, people would've been quite skeptical. not now. my emotions are all over the place, changing by the minute. take care of yourselves. tell people close to you how much they mean to you.

yes i know my tags are messed up. i will fix them soon. well, now, after i screwed up the entire blogger code, they are back. two hours later...a few minor changes. this work tonight has helped me finally to get my mind off the images of today. nothing sounds pleasing. not hungry. not tired. just empty. funny just doesn't work today. or music. smiling isn't even the same. i came home from the climbing gym (my climbing was horrible. no concentration. and my muscles were tense from the worries and evants of the day) and jonathon, my housemate, was sitting on the sofa watching TV.

"haven't you had enough?" i asked. it had been on all day. "any new news?"

"yeah," he said. "they bombed the statue of liberty, too."

i gasped. what next? what will happen now? "are you serious?"

he paused for a moment, and then said, with a giggle, "i'm kidding."

not.funny.at.all. i was rather disturbed by him saying this. quite upset.

is it not enough? this blessed sip of life, is it not enough?

i am scared. after listening to NPR on my run this morning, and now seeing the television, i am really fucking scared. hijacked planes? full of people? one tower COLLAPSED? a plane into the pentagon. what is happening?? i can't remember the last time i was this..this..scared/sad/worried. karin lives just north of there, e.14th ave. i hope she is ok...just heard from karin. she is ok.

as i read over what i have said in this journal....it all seems so trite. and meaningless. i hope all of your loved ones are well. the people who did this were very smart, very calculated. they knew exactly what they were doing. i hope it's over, but i am frightened it is not.

i really dig these pictures. i consider myself to be a decently creative person, and enjoy drawing, painting, etc. took a photography class in high school, thinking it would be fun and not-too-hard. found out i take horrible photographs. and how truly difficult photography really is.

thanks for the printed word recommendations. while i was at the bookstore, trying to decide what to buy, ron suggested 'me talk pretty one day'. there must of been some kind of weird karma.subliminal.vibe connection, because 'me talk pretty one day' caught my eye, and i remembered that my neighbor had recommended it to me a couple months ago. and that's what i picked up. came home to find his suggestion. :) i was also tempted by 'fast food nation', but $25 was a little steep. hoping the library just may have it. headed there today.

trip planning. there is just something i love about it. the mental excitement of planning is almost as good as the travels. you have this growing excitement and your head is reeling with all the enlightening.adventurous.humorous times you will be having. along with seeing friends. i am planning to see one of my closest high school friends. we haven't seen each other in seven years. wild. and my grandparents. my mom's parents. wonderful people, living in the country in eastern pennsylvania in a house my gandfather built. as i get older, i have a stronger appreciation for the simple lives they live.

looks like a plane just crashed into the world trade center...no details, but that just does not sound like a good thing...

took them long enough. geez.

yeah. this is where i live. that area on the close up map? off freeport , south of braodway?all of these things happened within 5 miles of my house. scary shit. especially after the solstoys murders, what, last week? what is happening to the world?

anyone unforked recently?

starbucks is thirty. in 1993, the year i started college, there were 272 starbucks, none in my small college town. coffee was to be had at linnea's, a funky old shop with mismatched chairs, stacks of old books and national geographics, a chess board (went thru a chess phase in college), and fantastic local art on the walls. homemade desserts (apple crumble pie. the best). great music friday and saturday nights, too. in about 1995 we got our first starbucks. in 1997, our second. the crowds kept coming to linnea's. there were plenty of college kids to patronize the starbucks, but the locals flocked to the downtown coffee shops. ah, life before starbucks. starbucks tries to replicate the feel of the local coffee house, but it just isn't the same. *sigh*

hmmmmm........

happy monday. good weekend. dan was talking on the phone to one of his friends and said to me 'who did we see again last night?' who? geez. 'g love' i said. so into the phone he says 'we saw g love and special SPOT'. i almost fell off my chair laughing. special SPOT? hee hee.

my friends have a new baby, jake. i was looking at one of the baby toy catalogs when i was over for dinner last night. (salmon in the kamodo. yum). and they were selling shrinky dinks!!! i want some.

williams-sonoma is now selling a $1300 set of knives. just how many knives to you REALLY need? unless you have a team of prep cooks in your kitchen, or twelve arms, seven knives should be more than enough...

heading to the library today, and barnes and noble. any book suggestions for my marathon plane rides?

lovin' the g. fabulous. tiny venue. outdoors at the raddison (yes, a hotel-there was a wedding going on the same evening there. and they didn't look like they were down with the special sauce). was in the second row, groovin'. the bassist - stand up bass - oh how i love that. the band looked like it was having so.much.fun. three or four bars set up outside, and an indoor bar off to one side. i wish i could've seen dmb when the venues were like this. got some 'baby's got sauce' and he made up a funky melody at the end, singing 'at the raddison.' creative. silly. fun. wine weed and room to dance. word.

and, i finally got may's 'lawd 'ave mercy' 4 second sound creation out of my head. well, kinda. now it's 'unified unified unified...bu dum dum...lawd 'ave mercy.....unified unified unified'. i have now turned it into a an 8 or 9 second one. hee.

the unofficial g love site says this about their setlists, which are under construction:

The setlist archive is currently under construction, but should be operational in the near future. I'm in the process of finishing up my semester finals and what not and have not had much of an opportunity to start to build the database.The setlist engine will be powered by PHP and MySQL.

It will essentially have the same functionality of the DMBTA
go chrissy and all who created the dmbta. copied, never duplicated. :)